The Rocco Effect

  It is more blessed to give than to receive. - Jesus Why do we give gifts? It's because it feels good.  If you want to create a strong bond with others, make them feel good.  An easy way to make others feel good it to ask for advice.  Advice is a gift we can all give.  Watch how quickly people light up when you ask genially for advice. I was out with friends.  I noticed one girl wasn't feeling good and staying out of the conversation.  So I asked her for relationship advice 'I'm rubbish with girls.  Can you help me out?'  Suddenly she was in her element, offering advice and feeling great as I took note and learned from her.  By offering her gift of knowledge to me, her life was given meaning. How do you feel when others want your advice? Task 1. What advice could others offer you? 2. Ask one person for their advice.  Take notes. 3. Notice how they feel whilst giving advice 4. Act on their advice.  Share with them your results. 5. Notice how they feel once you show

When I see an anxious person, I ask myself, what do they want? For if a person wasn’t wanting something outside of their own control, why would they be stricken by anxiety? — Epictetus Most things are outside our control.  Focusing on what is outside our control is a quick way to experience anger, anxiety, stress and depression.  Do we have control over how others act?  Do we have control over the weather?  Do we have control over the past?  No, we don't. Life is a gamble.  We can do everything right, and lose.  We can focus on the loss and remain sad, or we can focus on the fact we did our best, we did all we could, we grew in the process. You didn't get what you wanted, but is this outcome really that bad?  What remains that you are grateful for? If we should remove focus from the outcomes, what should we focus on?  We should focus on two things we can control, our thoughts and our actions.  Reframing situations can be the difference to being depressed and happy.  How often h

I can read minds, but I'm illiterate -  Mitch Hedberg   Is it possible to know if 'they think I'm ____'?  Their actions and words may point to one outcome, but how often have others misread your actions and words?  Is it likely that your skills outweigh theirs?   Mind-reading is a huge problem for all of us.  We imagine what others are thinking and then react to that.  All to often we imagine that they are thinking the worst about us.  As a result we build resentment towards them and dissatisfaction with ourselves. 'They did ____ because ____', How can we know the thoughts that lead to the action?  We often don't know why we perform some of our own actions.   Task 1. Take a mental note whenever you notice yourself mind reading (They think ____, They did that because ____) 2. Imagine others want the best for you.  Repeat positive thoughts when you see others. (They love me, They think I'm cool, They want to be my friend). 3.  After a week take a mental no

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. - James Clear (Atomic Habits) We are social creatures.  Not only do we want to be part of the group, we want to be at the peak of the group, the one others look up to.  Raising our status becomes part of our lives purpose. What do you post on social media?  Why?  How does your posts affect your status?  How does likes/comments/shares affect your status? Before we join a group we need to ask ourselves if it's worth being part of.  For example mental health.  Is the status game based on who is thriving most, despite their illness or is status based on who's life is the worst because of their illness?   Look around and you'll see people playing the  status game.  Some make themselves stronger and thrive, others make themselves sicker.  Who do you want to be?  What is the status game of y

  P - I'm hungry.  Know any good takeaways? M - Ten minus five

How to Break a Bad Habit Inversion of the 1st law (Cue): Make it invisible. Inversion of the 2nd law (Craving): Make it unattractive. Inversion of the 3rd law (Response): Make it difficult. Inversion of the 4th law (Reward): Make it unsatisfying.  ―  James Clear   We choose the easier option, most of the time.  Do you take the long path, or take the easy route and cut through the grass?  If a bad habit is the easy option (Snacks on your living room table, cold beers in the fridge, phone next to your bed ect.) your much more likely to choose that than the alternative (eating healthy, drinking water, going to sleep).  The opposite is also true.  If you want to eat better, don't have unhealthy snacks in your house and have healthy snacks at an easy to reach place.  Are you more likely to eat healthy, or trek to the store and buy a small, unhealthy snack?   Ask yourself 'What if' and add friction to your bad habits and reduce friction towards good habits. Task 1. What bad habit

I’m giving you permission to take care of yourself first, so you can do a better job of being generous in the long run. - Scott Adams  We often wear ourselves down, taking care of others, until we make ourselves sick.  When we're sick we're of no use to anyone, in fact we then become a burden.  Others then need to take care of us, until we are fit again.  We should take care of ourselves first, then help others.  If we're fit and happy we'll be in a much better shape to offer help, we won't experience burn out or make ourselves sick, plus we make progress everyday. Help other, but don't put others health, before your own.  Ask for help, but take steps to avoid burnout. Task 1. What can you stop doing to feel 100% again? 2. Who do you need to say 'No' to? 3. How can you take back more control of your own life? 4. How would you feel after spending more time on yourself?

 The future is unwritten - Joe Strummer How often have you seen the future change in a blink of an eye?  2020, for instance.  We started with Australia in flames, WW3 getting talked about, a deadly virus engulfing the world, lockdowns, social distancing, masks ect.  It seemed like the future was changing everyday.  It seemed like 2020 was different, but it wasn't, the future always lies in uncertainty. How often have you witnessed the future changing? Death, birth, break ups, a new relationship, huge losses, gigantic wins/losses ect.  How should we handle these constant changes?  How do we live life knowing that the future we envision is likely to change in reality?   We focus on our mental growth.  The knowledge we gain, the skills we acquire and the memories we have gathered.  They can't be taken from us unless through death (of the mind).  No matter the future if were knowledgeable, have the skills and have our memories to help guide us, we'll survive, and thrive when ot

 

 

 

 

Those who know, do. Those that understand, teach. – Aristotle   Why do we educate?  Because a smarter society is better for everyone.  Learning something new helps us grow and growth gives us meaning.  With meaning we are happier and as we grow we are of more productive and less destructive.   By sharing our knowledge we gain a new purpose.  We gain a deeper understanding of the subject.  We gain a following, people who look up to us.  Purpose + growth + a loyal following = a happier and more productive life.   And if we choose to sell our knowledge we gain more freedom.  We make money how we want, not how others want us to make it. Task 1. What subject do you know more of than others?   2. Who are the others?   3. Write a list of 10 things you could teach them. 4. Flesh out each item  5. Share your knowledge 6. Take note on how it makes you feel. 

 

  What did the thong say to the G-strings after their owner came back with granny panties?   Can you believe them?  Coming over here, taking our jobs.  Dam Knickers!

Nothing well done is insignificant - Jordan Peterson If you want to make the world a better place, start small.  A small step in the right direction is infinitely better than doing nothing.   Doing good, following our values, makes us feel good.  Small, random boosts of feeling good become addictive.  By doing small, random good acts, we soon become adducted and seek to do more. Task 1. Write down 10 small, good acts, you can do 2. Perform one each day 3. notice how you feel afterwards

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one - Marcus Aurelius  We don't have angels and devils on our shoulders, but we all know right from wrong.  We get a gut feeling before decisions.  Our subconscious has done all the hard calculations for us. If we listen to that, we will avoid a lot of future heartache.  Our values determine what we see as good/bad.  We may hold telling the truth high, but if we view loyalty as higher, we should choose loyalty over truth.  Both options may lead to bad outcomes, but outcomes are out of our control.  We can sway the odds to be more in our favor, but we don't have full control over every outcome.  Be good and think right, the rest doesn't matter. Task 1. How did you feel after doing what you knew was right? 2. Compare that to how you felt after doing wrong. 3. What is the right action for you now? 4. What's the smallest step you can take towards this action?   5. Do it

 

 

 

 

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples - Mother Teressa When we feel our work is meaningless, we feel meaningless.  When we feel our work is important, we feel important. Meaning means even on bad days, you can find pride in what you're doing. The meaning I took from previous my jobs Security - I was protecting people.  I made sure others could enjoy their nights.  I learned how to defuse and prevent fights.  Retail - I learned the importance of making sure customers leave happy.  I learned sales techniques. I helped make it easier for people to get what they needed. Comics - I don't get paid for this so these are all about meaning.  I solidify my knowledge when simplifying lessons for the comics. I help others live happier lives.  1 provide a framework to help others grow.  Task 1. What skills/knowledge have you gained whilst at your job? 2. How does your role impact others? 3. What could you do to gain more meaning from

 

  A joke about coffee shops.

If someone is doing something a lot we call it a habit. If bully's, bully almost daily, they have a bad habit. Habits continue because we feel a boost in happiness afterward. Chances are they feel a small boost from the victims reaction. In order to stop the bullying, stop that boost. A punch to the face produces the opposite boost from what they where after. Making them look foolish gives the opposite effect. But treating them with kindness. That's neutral or positive. As a result they're much more likely to continue. Stop the habit by giving them bad outcomes. Do you agree? Are there other ways you would deal with bullying?

Losers have goals. Winners have systems. ―  Scott Adams     The pursuit of a goal gives you a purpose and the growth makes you feel great.  The completion of a goal makes you feel awesome, but it never lasts long and before long your left lost, without purpose, which leads to depression, a state which will likely destroy most of your progress you made pursuing the goal. How do we avoid this lonely state, but still continue to grow and make progress?  By thinking in systems, instead of goals.  A goal is a target we work towards hitting, a system is the daily process of trying to get better.  A goal may be to run a marathon in X amount of time.  A system would be to run daily, pushing yourself a little further each day/  It doesn't end once you hit your target as a new target is made each day, continuing growth and the positive feelings attached to that. Goal - Pass an exam    System - Learn something new each day Goal - Lost 5 stone      System - Maintain a healthy weight Goal - Rea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  A song about all the beautiful sights of Christmas Time.

  Me and Brian where walking the streets, getting wasted, but also very tired, until we spotted a wheelchair.

  A story of the time i appeared on a Japanese Quiz show.

  I meet a young girl, at a nightclub, who was dancing on her own.

  An old man sails out to sea, but he finds himself in danger after a wave tips him overboard.

  I visit Glasgow City Center and meet a group of very fine young gentlemen. 

The comfort of having a friend may be taken away, but not that of having had one – Seneca When the time comes and our loved ones part from us, what would be the best state for us to be in?  I believe it to be a state in which we have no regrets.  A state where we are proud of how much meaning we gave to their lives and how much they gave back.  A state in which we believe they smiled, thinking of our time together as they passed.  So how do we make that goal more likely?   We pause before we speak and act and ask ourselves 'Will I regret saying/doing this?'.  We plan and attend events that will create memories.  We take in as much as we can when we are with loved ones, the sights, sounds, smells ect.  We make sure that regardless of what happened, you both leave every situation happy.  People don't remember specifics, but they do remember how you made them feel, make them feel great. Task 1. Who's deaths would have the biggest impact on you? Why? 2. What can you do this

We all know, Social Media is addicting.  Likes, comments and shares are all designed to give us a high. What are we posting in order to seek those highs?  Are we sharing our amazing lives?  Are we sharing knowledge to help others?  Are we sharing humor? or are we sharing reasons why we're week, reasons our lives suck, reasons why others should accept our weakness and depressing lives?  All of these exist.  Life is a mixture of awesome and crap, it's the same for everyone.  But, if your smart you'd seek out living a more awesome life, compared to a more crap life. If we post crap, we'll seek a life of more crap, in order to post more.  The same is true for those who live awesome lives.  Just compare the lives of the people who share these aspects of their lives.  To conclude, watch what you post and share.  This is your currency for your social media high.  And like  addict, you'll seek out more in order for that high.  Be aware that others lives are affected by what

 

 

 195. Is your house your home? 196. What posters/photos could be added to make it more homely? 197. What candles/stents make a room feel more homely? 198. What background audio would fit each room? 199. What haven't I used in the last year? 200. Would someone else get more use out of them? 201. What could I do with the extra space? 202. Is each area suited for their task? 203. What 1 thing can I buy to help improve each room? 204. How has your home changed in the last year? 205. Where would you love to live? 206. What type of environment brings you joy and happiness? 207. What's stopping you from moving to a better environment? 208. What can you do to improve your current environment? 209. What can I do, to help others in my community? 210. What makes my home great? 211. How do I feel before and after tidying? 212. What three places are you happiest? Why? 213. If you had the money, what would your dream house look like? 214. What would each room look like?

“It is not death that a man should fear, but rather he should fear never beginning to live.” —Marcus Aurelius  The biggest regret one can face is regretting their life.  We don't want to look back on our lives only to see disappointment and missed opportunities. If we reflect on our pasts we can all find some regrets, but would they have happened if we had reflected on our deaths?  Maybe the same actions would have took place, but with the new outlook we would see them as a growth opportunity, rather than a regret.  Maybe we'd stick to our values and walk away proud.  If we remind ourselves that one day we will be looking back on everything, with no more time to make amends, we will be much more satisfied with the choices we make. Task 1. Reflect on your past regrets.  What would you say in order to prevent them?  If you wouldn't prevent them are they really regrets? 2. Reflect on your death.  Did you live a good life?  Do you need to make amends?

155. What would you learn, if you knew you would succeed at it? 156. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? 157. What advice would you give to someone in a similar situation as yourself? 158. What has been your biggest life lesson in the last year? 159. What is your 5 year plan? 160. How can you get there in 1 year? 161. What's stopping you spending more time on your personal growth? 162. What 5 qualities are you most proud of having? 163. How have you grown in the last year? 164. What have you learned in the last week? 165. What awesome things are you working on? 166. What makes it awesome? 167. What are your values? 168. How can you share what you have learned? 169. What do I need to stop doing? 170. What daily tasks am I doing in order to grow? 171. What books have I read this year? 172. What have I learned from them? 173. How have I used these lessons to benefit my life? 174. What books am I looking forward to reading in the future? 175. What p

Don't Judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson Where we're going is more important than where we are.  Where we're going determines everything, our thoughts, actions and our mood.  When life's going to hell we think negatively, act in accordance, and feel rubbish.  When things are getting better we think clearly, our actions keep pushing us forward and we feel awesome. We unconsciously know this.  We feel, think and act differently without realizing why, only to look back later, connect the dots and see that life was moving in the wrong direction.  To become more conscious visualize the best and the worst possible futures.  If you notice yourself feeling, acting or thinking negatively ask if you're moving towards the best or worst future, then make the changes needed to get back onto the right path. Task 1. Spend 10 minutes visualizing your best and worst futures 2. Where are your current actions moving you? 3

 134. If you had all the time/money, what would you do with your life? 135. What's stopping you from spending more time doing what you love? 136. What can you start doing to get even more out of the time spent doing what you love? 137. What three hobbies related quotes mean the most to you? Why? 138. How can I help others, who love the same things I do? 139. How can I start making money from one of my hobbies? 140. What problems exist, that I can solve? 141. How do I show my appreciation for my hobbies? 142. What new hobbies would help benefit my life? 143. What possessions mean most to you? Why? 144. What music makes you feel your best? 145. What songs mean the most to you? Why? 146. What can I stop doing so that I can spend more time doing what I love? 147. Why did you start your hobbies? 148. Did you love your hobbies when you first started? 149. How did you grow a love for them? 150. What unnecessary things am I doing? 151. How will I make amends to any wrong

 

 

 101. What does a good time with my partner look like? 102. If you knew they'd say yes, who would you spend the rest of your life with? 103. What does your dream life, with your partner, look like? 104. What's stopping you taking the next step in your love life? 105. What values do you look for in a partner? 106. What can you start doing to show more love to your partner? 107. How have I grown from my failures in love? 108. Where are my current actions leading me in love? 109. What do I do to ensure my partner is living the best life I can provide? 110. If I where to die tonight, how would my partner remember me? 111. How do I want them to remember me? 112. What actions must I take, to ensure they remember me, the way I want them to? 113. How can I make them want to date me? 114. What qualities make me attractive? 115. How well do I show off my qualities? 116. What qualities should I work on to become even more attractive? 117. I'm I the type of person, the t

 

 

 

 

60. What does a good time with my friends look like? 61. What does a good time with my family look like? 62. What's a bigger loss 90% of your savings or a family/friend? 63. Do your actions, show you really believe this? 64. Who loves you? 65. Why do they love you? 66. What's stopping you spending more time with your friends/family? 67. How will I make amends for my mistakes? 68. What values do you look for in friends? 69. What can you start doing to bring more meaning and joy to your friends and family? 70. If I where to die tonight, how would my friends and family remember me? 71. How do I want them to remember me? 72. What actions must I take, to ensure they remember me, the way I want them to? 73. Pick someone you care about. What would life be like if they died tonight? 74. What would you miss most? 75. Since they're not dead, how will you honor the extra time you've been blessed with them? 76. What actions do I need to stop doing that are slowly p

 44. How can I start solving the biggest problems related to my job? 45. What next step can I take to running my own bushiness? 46. What first impression do I give off to customers? 47. How can I build up a loyal following? 48. How can I help improve the lives of my followers? 49. How can I make $1 today? 50. How can I make more money? 51. Where can I cut costs? 52. What problems can I make money from solving? 53. What small steps lead to my goal? 54. What problems are currently bothering me? 55. What problems can I solve today? 56. Who else would benefit if I solved these problems? 57. How can I build an audience or money around solving this problem? 58. Pick any object. What are 10 ways it could be made better? 59. How could I implement these changes to make a new product?

The questions we ask determines the answers we get.  Here's a list of 'Better Questions' around the topic of work.   Questions  1. What have I learnt from my failures?  2. Where have I done wrong and how can I make amends? 3.What skills am I improving at work?  4. What would I need to do to be ok with losing this job?  5. What does a good day at work look like?  6. What Job would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?  7. What job are my current actions leading me to?  8. What's stopping you from performing your best work?  9. What brings meaning and joy to your job?  10. What can you start doing to bring happiness to the workplace?  11. Which of my actions are holding me back?  12. How can I make others look good?  13. How do I make myself irreplaceable?  14. Why do I deserve a pay rise/promotion?  15. What can I start doing, to make my job role something to be proud of?  16. How does my job affect others?  17. How can I make them want to promote me?  18. What three

Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it easier to maintain control. - Epictetus  Words can be as powerful as a slap in the face, if we let them. If an idiot said 'Pigs can fly' we'd dismiss it, so why do we trust their judgement on us?  Maybe we're not upset at their judgement, but are upset at our own judgment of ourselves.  Do beautiful people feel insulted when called ugly? Smart people when their called idiots? Healthy when their called fat? No, the insult only hurts when we see ourselves in the same light.  If you want to be immune, be awesome, do your best and only repeat good thoughts about yourself.  You know yourself better than anyone, it's the one field where you're

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.  ―  Aesop Think of the last time you made someone smile, how did that make you feel?  Pretty good, right?  That's because making others smile is one of the quickest ways for us to feel joy ourselves.  Seek out different ways to make others smile and with it you'll be on track to live a happier life. How I seek to make others smile Jokes, sharing useful knowledge, complements, inviting them to events, asking for their expert advice, talking to them Task For the next week 1. Write out five different ways you could make someone smile. 2. Perform one of these actions each day. 3. Did they smile?  How did it make you feel? 4. If they didn't smile, try to make someone else smile.