The Rocco Effect

  It is more blessed to give than to receive. - Jesus Why do we give gifts? It's because it feels good.  If you want to create a strong bond with others, make them feel good.  An easy way to make others feel good it to ask for advice.  Advice is a gift we can all give.  Watch how quickly people light up when you ask genially for advice. I was out with friends.  I noticed one girl wasn't feeling good and staying out of the conversation.  So I asked her for relationship advice 'I'm rubbish with girls.  Can you help me out?'  Suddenly she was in her element, offering advice and feeling great as I took note and learned from her.  By offering her gift of knowledge to me, her life was given meaning. How do you feel when others want your advice? Task 1. What advice could others offer you? 2. Ask one person for their advice.  Take notes. 3. Notice how they feel whilst giving advice 4. Act on their advice.  Share with them your results. 5. Notice how they feel once you show

When I see an anxious person, I ask myself, what do they want? For if a person wasn’t wanting something outside of their own control, why would they be stricken by anxiety? — Epictetus Most things are outside our control.  Focusing on what is outside our control is a quick way to experience anger, anxiety, stress and depression.  Do we have control over how others act?  Do we have control over the weather?  Do we have control over the past?  No, we don't. Life is a gamble.  We can do everything right, and lose.  We can focus on the loss and remain sad, or we can focus on the fact we did our best, we did all we could, we grew in the process. You didn't get what you wanted, but is this outcome really that bad?  What remains that you are grateful for? If we should remove focus from the outcomes, what should we focus on?  We should focus on two things we can control, our thoughts and our actions.  Reframing situations can be the difference to being depressed and happy.  How often h