The Rocco Effect

I can read minds, but I'm illiterate -  Mitch Hedberg   Is it possible to know if 'they think I'm ____'?  Their actions and words may point to one outcome, but how often have others misread your actions and words?  Is it likely that your skills outweigh theirs?   Mind-reading is a huge problem for all of us.  We imagine what others are thinking and then react to that.  All to often we imagine that they are thinking the worst about us.  As a result we build resentment towards them and dissatisfaction with ourselves. 'They did ____ because ____', How can we know the thoughts that lead to the action?  We often don't know why we perform some of our own actions.   Task 1. Take a mental note whenever you notice yourself mind reading (They think ____, They did that because ____) 2. Imagine others want the best for you.  Repeat positive thoughts when you see others. (They love me, They think I'm cool, They want to be my friend). 3...

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. - James Clear (Atomic Habits) We are social creatures.  Not only do we want to be part of the group, we want to be at the peak of the group, the one others look up to.  Raising our status becomes part of our lives purpose. What do you post on social media?  Why?  How does your posts affect your status?  How does likes/comments/shares affect your status? Before we join a group we need to ask ourselves if it's worth being part of.  For example mental health.  Is the status game based on who is thriving most, despite their illness or is status based on who's life is the worst because of their illness?   Look around and you'll see people playing the  status game.  Some make themselves stronger and thrive, others make themselves sicker.  Who d...

  P - I'm hungry.  Know any good takeaways? M - Ten minus five

How to Break a Bad Habit Inversion of the 1st law (Cue): Make it invisible. Inversion of the 2nd law (Craving): Make it unattractive. Inversion of the 3rd law (Response): Make it difficult. Inversion of the 4th law (Reward): Make it unsatisfying.  ―  James Clear   We choose the easier option, most of the time.  Do you take the long path, or take the easy route and cut through the grass?  If a bad habit is the easy option (Snacks on your living room table, cold beers in the fridge, phone next to your bed ect.) your much more likely to choose that than the alternative (eating healthy, drinking water, going to sleep).  The opposite is also true.  If you want to eat better, don't have unhealthy snacks in your house and have healthy snacks at an easy to reach place.  Are you more likely to eat healthy, or trek to the store and buy a small, unhealthy snack?   Ask yourself 'What if' and add friction to your bad habits and reduce friction toward...

I’m giving you permission to take care of yourself first, so you can do a better job of being generous in the long run. - Scott Adams  We often wear ourselves down, taking care of others, until we make ourselves sick.  When we're sick we're of no use to anyone, in fact we then become a burden.  Others then need to take care of us, until we are fit again.  We should take care of ourselves first, then help others.  If we're fit and happy we'll be in a much better shape to offer help, we won't experience burn out or make ourselves sick, plus we make progress everyday. Help other, but don't put others health, before your own.  Ask for help, but take steps to avoid burnout. Task 1. What can you stop doing to feel 100% again? 2. Who do you need to say 'No' to? 3. How can you take back more control of your own life? 4. How would you feel after spending more time on yourself?

 The future is unwritten - Joe Strummer How often have you seen the future change in a blink of an eye?  2020, for instance.  We started with Australia in flames, WW3 getting talked about, a deadly virus engulfing the world, lockdowns, social distancing, masks ect.  It seemed like the future was changing everyday.  It seemed like 2020 was different, but it wasn't, the future always lies in uncertainty. How often have you witnessed the future changing? Death, birth, break ups, a new relationship, huge losses, gigantic wins/losses ect.  How should we handle these constant changes?  How do we live life knowing that the future we envision is likely to change in reality?   We focus on our mental growth.  The knowledge we gain, the skills we acquire and the memories we have gathered.  They can't be taken from us unless through death (of the mind).  No matter the future if were knowledgeable, have the skills and have our memories to h...